Fourth Trimester Podcast Episode 92: A Parent’s Guide To Building Self-Trust (And Why It Matters) – With First Forty Days Author Marisa Belger
Building Self-Trust: An Essential Guide for Parents
Self-trust is a topic that can greatly impact the lives of parents and infants. In this episode of the Fourth Trimester podcast, host Sarah Trott and guest Marisa Belger cover the importance of self-trust and provide a guide for parents to build this important skill. They also share practical questions and a meditation exercise to help parents strengthen their self-trust. Listen to the episode (above) or read on for details.
Why Building Self-Trust Is Important For Parents
The journey of parenthood can be overwhelming, with a barrage of information and advice bombarding parents from all directions. It is crucial for parents to develop self-trust in order to navigate this journey with confidence and clarity. Self-trust is the understanding that parents know what is best for themselves and their children, even amidst the noise and conflicting opinions.
Belger emphasized the significance of self-trust during the motherhood journey. From the desire to be a parent to the postpartum period and beyond, self-trust is vital for making decisions that align with individual needs and values. By developing self-trust, parents can better handle the constant influx of information and make choices that feel right to them.
Four Questions for Building Self-Trust
Belger presented four questions as a practical exercise for building self-trust:
- What am I noticing right now? This question encourages parents to be aware of their feelings and instincts in any given moment, helping them tune into their inner knowing.
- Am I allowing what I’m feeling to just be? It is essential not to judge or attach stories to the feelings experienced. By acknowledging and embracing these feelings without judgment, parents can honor their intuition.
- What are these feelings trying to tell me? This gentle inquiry prompts parents to explore the deeper meaning behind their feelings and instincts. By understanding the message behind these emotions, parents can make more informed decisions. Learning to listen to ourselves is critical because it gives us confidence to decide what is best for us and our own families, particularly when there are other people / books / “experts” telling us otherwise.
- How can I offer myself tenderness and compassion right now? Practicing self-compassion and self-care is crucial for building self-trust. By treating themselves with the same kindness and understanding they show others, parents can cultivate a nurturing relationship with themselves.
Building self-trust is an ongoing process that requires practice and self-reflection. By developing self-trust, parents can navigate the challenges of parenthood with confidence, make decisions that align with their values, and prioritize their well-being and the well-being of their children.
The Power of the “Loving No”
Belger emphasized the importance of saying no when necessary and setting loving boundaries. Parents often feel obligated to say yes to social obligations or requests, even when it goes against their own well-being. By learning to say no, parents can prioritize their needs and demonstrate self-care.
Belger highlighted that a loving no does not require confrontation or explanation. It is a way of respecting one’s own limits, setting boundaries, and prioritizing self-care. Learning to say no allows parents to honor their intuition and make choices that align with their true needs.
A Daily Meditation
In addition to the questions, Belger guided listeners through a simple meditation practice. This practice involves closing the eyes, taking gentle inhalations and exhalations, and focusing on the words “calm” and “ease” during the breaths. By integrating this meditation into daily life, parents can create moments of calm and cultivate a deeper connection with themselves.
Practice the meditation with Marisa by watching here:
@fourthtrimester TWO MINUTE RESET! Even two minutes of meditation can create an influx of calm into your day and body. Learn how to do it here and then integrate it into daily life for more calm and deeper connection. #momsoftiktok #meditation #firstfortydays #motherhood #parenthood #momtok ♬ original sound – Fourth Trimester
Special Offer For Marisa Belger Coaching Services
As a special offer for listeners of the Fourth Trimester Podcast, Belger is offering a 25% discount on her services. Those interested in working with her can mention the podcast when booking a three or six-month session. Additionally, Belger and Heng Ou have launched a 12-week course called “Living the First 40 Days and Beyond” that combines the principles of their book, “The First 40 Days,” with support for women at every stage of the motherhood journey. Mention the Fourth Trimester Podcast for a 25% discount for the 12-week course as well.
“And if there’s one takeaway from today, it’s that we offer our tenderness, compassion, gentleness, and understanding, to ourselves. … And so why not try it on for yourself and just see the ease that that creates, the spaciousness that that creates around any experience that you’re having.”
— Marisa Belger
About Marisa Belger
Marisa Belger is dedicated to helping women access greater self trust at every stage of the motherhood journey. She is a certified life coach, women’s group facilitator, and co-author of a series of books for mothers including The First Forty Days: The Essential Art of Nourishing the New Mother, the bestselling guide to women-centric care in the early weeks of motherhood and most recently, Nine Golden Months: The Essential Art of Nurturing the Mother-to-Be.
Marisa’s book The First Forty Days: The Essential Art of Nourishing the New Mother |
Nine Golden Months: The Essential Art of Nurturing the Mother-To-Be |
Awakening Fertility: The Essential Art of Preparing for Pregnancy by the Authors of the First Forty Days
Sarah Trott: [00:00:00] Hi, this is Sarah Trott at the Fourth trimester podcast. Welcome back to our show and we have a great one planned for today. We are going to be talking about the topic of Self-trust. We’re going to provide you with a guide, a parent’s guide specifically to building Self-trust, and we’re going to talk about why that matters because it’s so, so incredibly important.
Sarah Trott: [00:00:21] We have a special guest today, Marisa Belger, who I’ll introduce in a moment. And before I do, I’ll remind everyone that we have a website which is fourthtrimesterpodcast.com. We’re on Instagram, we’re on all the socials, so you can connect with us there and you should check that out. Sign up for our newsletter, follow us on Apple. You can subscribe on Apple so that you get reminded every time we release a new episode. And yeah, go to our site if you haven’t yet. We’ve got a lot of great content there.
Sarah Trott: [00:00:49] I’m really thrilled, Like I said, to have Marisa here with me today. She’s been on the show before and just a reminder about a little bit about her background. She’s the author of First 40 Days The Essential Art of Nourishing the New Mother, which is one of my favorite ever books. If you have not got that book, we even have it on our website as like our Fourth trimester Beach reads favorite books book list. It was a companion of mine. I love the recipes in the book as well. And since then you’ve also written The Nine Golden Months The Essential Art of Nurturing the Mother to Be. So I would encourage everyone to go check those books out. If you’re interested in reading and having a great companion for your pregnancy and your postpartum journey.
Sarah Trott: [00:01:34] And Marisa has been dedicated to helping women for many, many years. She’s been dedicated to helping women access greater self-trust at every stage of the motherhood journey. She is a certified life coach, a women’s group facilitator, and, as I said, coauthor of these wonderful books. So I am just so, so thrilled to have you back on the program. Marisa, Welcome.
Marisa Belger: [00:01:56] Sarah Thank you so much. I enjoyed our time together. It was a good handful of years now and it’s just so wonderful to reconnect and I love the work you’re doing. And yeah, it’s a pleasure to be here. Yeah. Thank you.
Sarah Trott: [00:02:08] For anyone who is interested in revisiting the prior show, Marisa and I talked about the “four relationship saving questions to ask before Baby arrives”. It was episode 19, one of my all time favorites on the program, so listen to that one as well if you want to hear more.
Sarah Trott: [00:02:26] And so we’re just going to dive right in. We’re going to start talking about this topic of Self-trust. So this program is going to act as a guide to understand what self-trust is, why it’s important we’re going to go through when to break into this development of Self-trust on your own journey and some practical questions, we have four questions as an exercise to build self-trust. And then we’re going to end with a brief meditation exercise, which is really cool. And so just to intro this topic, you know, some of the things that come to mind for me when I think of Self-trust is just this word instinct. And I’d love to hear Marisa, your perspective on what we even mean when we talk about Self-trust. What is that?
Marisa Belger: [00:03:08] Yeah, Thanks, Sarah. I mean, again, it can be a phrase maybe that gets tossed around even kind of casually, but you know, the meaning behind it may may be a bit unclear until you just spend a little time with it. And so self-trust for me and in the work I do with with mothers specifically, is really this process of understanding that we actually know what we need in any given moment, that if we are able to quiet down all the noise that’s coming at us from the outside and even the noise that’s coming from our our own mind. There’s an inner knowing that really can be our guide through through every step we take in life, and especially inside of the intensity of motherhood and parenting.
Sarah Trott: [00:03:59] Yeah, I was just telling you beforehand in some of our prep when I became pregnant for the first time, I’m a lover of data and I was just interested in reading and consuming so much information and book after book and just trying to understand like, what is the right way to raise my baby? What is the right way to be a pregnant person? And the further I got into it, you know, I learned a lot. There was a lot of great takeaways from a number of good books that I read. And I just, you know, is there a right way? I think my conclusion was that I just felt frustrated because I was thinking this these books are contradicting each other. It was like driving down Las Vegas with a smorgasborg of like lights flashing at me and different messages. And I just, you know, it can be kind of overwhelming at times.
Marisa Belger: [00:04:44] Yeah. I’m so happy you brought up that particular example because even in our in our latest book, Nine Golden Months, which I wrote with my coauthors and fellow mothers, Heng Ou and Emily Greevan always have to give a shout out to our to our team of motherhood creators – creatrix, I should say – in in nine golden months. We there’s a specific section where we really talk about the saturation of information that comes at us, especially when pregnant.
Marisa Belger: [00:05:11] The amount of resources that are out there can be incredibly overwhelming. So we are advocates for knowledge and for information, but bigger than that, we are advocates for understanding. When you reach that over saturation point and when it starts to become too much and when all of that info starts to, I want to say drown out the whispers of you said instinct. And that’s a great word too. I often use the word intuition. So what can happen is that it will drown out the whispers or the the notes of our intuition, which in the beginning can be quite quiet. And it’s a process of learning how to how to hear what’s actually right for us inside.
Sarah Trott: [00:05:57] One of the things that we meditate on in our family is that we talk about listening to our inner voice and the importance of listening to our inner voice and honoring ourselves. And I think what you’re saying is bringing that up for me. And I know that for a lot of people it’s not necessarily second nature. We barrel through, we tough it out. We maybe have this bad feeling. We’re like, Oh, that means it’s hard. So I have to carry on and push through.
Marisa Belger: [00:06:22] Absolutely. Again. So that’s a beautiful example. And it’s a it’s a one you’re actually living, raising daughters. I really appreciate that, that you brought it up. So where I where I stand on that and really like unwaveringly that is that if it feels wrong it’s it’s wrong. And what happens is we’ll get a hit of knowing and that can look a lot of ways that can be a feeling in our body. Often it is that can be an uncomfortable feeling. It can be, you know something in your belly flip flopping, a tightness in your throat, a hunching in your shoulders. You may feel it in your head. It could be made words or images or, you know, there’s many different ways that our intuition speaks to us. But what happens is we are so programed to override these intuitive hits that we get with the mind. Okay? With this concept of I should be feeling something different.
Marisa Belger: [00:07:22] And so what starts to happen is that the opposite of self-trust is self doubt is that we start to doubt ourselves. We start to doubt this inner knowing and this inner guidance system that we’ve all been given. It’s our birthright and we have it. And what happens is the more we don’t listen and then heed these messages that we’re getting, the quieter those messages become and the harder it is to hear. So to answer your question, we all absolutely have access to our intuition, but there is a process of of unlearning the the patterns that we’ve been in for so long where the mind can override it.
Sarah Trott: [00:08:01] So we’re all born as babies with our intuition intact, strong, fierce instincts. In fact, that’s how we survive, right? Babies don’t have language. That’s the way they communicate, is through their instincts and their needs. And then what happens over time is we’re somehow deciding, hey, you know what? I need to do something else that that’s different because my parents are telling me or society is telling me or whatever that is.
Sarah Trott: [00:08:26] The way that we’re raised often becomes a default, right? When we become parents, we end up reparenting ourselves because we our minds go directly back to when we were little and the way we did. You know, how our parents and our young households worked. And if we default, that default can be something that either our intuition agrees with or sometimes our intuition disagrees with. Right? And so that’s when I think just being aware of this concept makes makes a ton of sense for a parent, right? Is thinking through like being proactive. What kind of parent do I want to be and someone who has that self-trust intact is someone who’s probably reflecting on their default and questioning that. Is that. Was that right? It might be. It might be exactly what they want, but it might be not what they want and they might want something different.
Marisa Belger: [00:09:18] Yeah, exactly. And yeah, please let me know if this is answering that question because there’s so much good stuff in there. The reason Self-trust has bubbled so, so profoundly to the surface in the work I do with mothers is because to me there is no better and more essential time to bring your self trust online than during the entire arc of the motherhood journey. And the motherhood journey from from where I stand is from the moment that desire to be a mother or a parent awakens in your heart, you have embarked on the motherhood journey, and by doing so in this modern society, you will be. It’s not even a question.
You will be bombarded. By information and expertise. I put “expertise” in quotes that will come at you everything from how to have a healthy pregnancy and decisions to make around birth, and then how to be with a newborn. Right. And then it only keeps going. So if your self-trust isn’t really firmly online by the time you are embarking on motherhood or let’s just say pregnancy, you’re going to find yourself. And this is to answer the question of why Self-trust is so important. Just being tossed around, you know, in the in the wind from one person’s opinion or one resource’s point of view to another, never really being able to stand firmly in what is actually right for you.
Marisa Belger: [00:10:48] And you just said it so beautifully. What is right for you may be in contrast to what you’re being told or what you’re reading. And I want to stress right here, this could be whether it’s a doctor in a white coat with multiple degrees on the wall, whether it’s a dear friend. Right. Or a family member sharing an opinion or thoughts or a point of view if it does not resonate with you. Right.
Marisa Belger: [00:11:13] And this is why we practice the art of noticing, of noticing if it feels right or not. And we can talk more about that. The practice is finding initially the courage because it does take courage to say, wait a minute, it’s just a pause in the beginning, Wait, hold on. Before I just take action, based on what I’m hearing on the outside, let me really let me really notice and let me really respect that I’m feeling something different inside. Yeah. And this is a practice. It gets easier with time.
Sarah Trott: [00:11:45] Before we do the questions, I’ll revisit what you said. You know, when is the right time to embark on the Self-trust journey?
Marisa Belger: [00:11:52] Yes, it’s such a wonderful question. And the answer is right now. Right now, yes. If you’re listening to this and you’ve never heard the the the phrase self-trust or never, even if you weren’t familiar with the concept, now is the time to start. Because wherever you are on your parenthood journey, this this work, this this inner personal work, this building of a relationship of trust with yourself will hold you through every single stage and circumstance and permutation of your life through parenthood and beyond.
Sarah Trott: [00:12:26] For every day. Yeah. And what could just to bring it to life? What could self-trust or lack of self-trust look like? You know, an example might be what, like constantly asking others for opinions and not being able to make your own decisions or what? What comes to mind.
Marisa Belger: [00:12:40] Yeah, I love that you brought that up because an example was coming up so self-trust not listening to your Self-trust can look like I’m thinking right now of a client of mine who was in a situation where she was receiving some body work from somebody and she was just noticing that the, the energy of this practitioner just was making her feel a little uncomfortable. Um, there wasn’t necessarily even something specific that was happening, but the, the energy of the, the, the way the treatment was being offered just didn’t feel right.
There was something in her body that was telling her that this was an uncomfortable situation. And so it’s just a very it’s a very common example because it takes courage to to notice that and then to say something, to say, you know what, this situation isn’t feeling really right to me. And so I’m going to ask to stop or ask to change it or ask to just for something, something to be different. So that’s one example.
Marisa Belger: [00:13:50] And then when it comes to pregnancy, it could be being, you know, asked to follow a specific protocol of of eating or of anything rest or exercise that feels out of alignment with who you really are and what you really need, you know. And so what I say start now. We really encourage, you know, our our Arc of Books is we have the first 40 days, which is all about postpartum care, targeted care for the new mother.
And then we rewound and we looked at preparing for conception with awakening fertility. And so I just I go back there because we start with the conception phase, really noticing like, what is your body asking you that to feed it? When is it asking you to slow down? When is it asking you for connection? When is it asking you for alone time like recharging. And so if you start, then that type of respecting of your truest needs will carry you through pregnancy, through birth, through early motherhood and and beyond. So, yeah, I hope that answers your question.
Sarah Trott: [00:14:59] Yeah, no, it sure does. The answer is there’s no there’s no too late. And right now is the best time.
Marisa Belger: [00:15:06] Exactly.
Sarah Trott: [00:15:08] Yes. We will link to all of these books and resources in our show notes on the site. So don’t worry. You don’t have to scribble these down. We’ll have these available for you. So let’s talk about the questions then. You were saying you’ve got some great questions prepared. So everyone listening at home, listen up. This is your chance to embark on your journey now, regardless of whether this is brand new to you or you are a practice self-truster, you know, we can just dive right in. Yeah.
Marisa Belger: [00:15:35] Oh, I love that. That’s self truster. Yes, we we all may. May we all be self-trusters. Yeah. So what I love to remind people, especially the moms that I work with whose plates are so full, we’re all holding so much right now. So the idea of any, any additional tasks or to dos can feel so overwhelming. So I really like to remind that these these practices and these questions that I’m about to offer, which are really which really are a practice, a way of practicing self trust, can be woven into any, any time of the day.
There’s no wrong time to practice building trust with yourself. I mean, it can be when, you know, scrambling to make breakfast for your kids in the morning. It can be when sitting in traffic. It could be when, you know, buying a cup of coffee from your local barista. I mean, every single moment is an opportunity. So that’s my Segway and there’s no way to do it wrong. So I really want to emphasize that there’s absolutely no way to do it wrong. And as you practice, you know, offering yourself a lot of compassion and gentleness as you try on something new is foundational. So that’s that’s the foundation.
Marisa Belger: [00:16:49] So the first question as you’re getting to, you know, begin to hear these whispers or these little nudges from your intuition, which is the foundation of self-trust is what am I noticing right now? So that’s the first question. And it’s really it’s the art of noticing. And noticing can be a really gentle kind of verb.
Marisa Belger: [00:17:10] And when we don’t use a lot, but when you bring the, the practice of noticing or the practice of bringing awareness to what you’re experiencing in any given moment, you really start to understand how you’re feeling. So what am I noticing right now? This could be in a new situation. So if you enter a new space, if you meet somebody for the first time, these are great opportunities. What am I what am I noticing right now? How am I? How is this person or situation or space making me feel?
Marisa Belger: [00:17:10] And then the next question would be, am I allowing what I’m feeling to just be to just exist without adding judgment or any kind of story to it? So this, too, is is is a new space for a lot of people. Right. So I’m noticing that, okay, this doula that I’m interviewing to perhaps work with me, you know, when that doula entered the room, I felt a little tense and I felt or I felt a little nervous or a little anxious. So now the the practice would be okay. I’m noticing that I’m feeling a little tense and I’m just going to let that that tense feeling or that little bit of anxiety just be.
Marisa Belger: [00:18:33] And then the next question would be, what are these feelings trying to tell me? So this is the one. It’s like a gentle inquiry, and I really want to add the word gentle. So this is not you’re not trying to find a clear answer. You’re not trying to get like a neatly packaged, you know, Fedex letter that says this is exactly what’s happening, but it’s just a gentle inquiry. Okay. I’m feeling a little anxious right now. What’s really happening here? Oh, what is this trying to tell me? Am I. Do I have some social anxiety? Is it hard to meet new people? Is it because this is my first pregnancy in the doula example and everything feels heightened? Is it because I’m a little fatigued and or maybe I didn’t eat enough breakfast? Like, am I systems a little off? Just sort of gentle inquiry. What are these feelings trying to tell me?
Marisa Belger: [00:19:31] And then the the last question and super, super important and it’s what we opened with, which is how can I offer myself tenderness and compassion right now? And this is Sarah, really, this is the biggest one. And if there’s one takeaway from today, from our time together and one takeaway for everybody that I work with, it’s we offer our tenderness, compassion, gentleness, understanding, especially as women and as mothers all day long to others, to other people outside of us.
Very rarely do we do we remember or even realize that we can turn that compassion to ourselves. And, you know, I consider it to be a superpower like a mother superpower, that access to that well of compassion and tenderness. And so why not try it on for yourself and just see the ease that that creates, the spaciousness that that creates around any experience that you’re having. So those are our questions. Yeah.
Sarah Trott: [00:20:32] Thank you so much. We will create this guide in written form for everyone on Fourthtrimesterpodcast.com so you can go back and reference those.
Sarah Trott: [00:20:43] So I love your point about the gentle inquiry. Curiosity is the word that came to mind for me, the gentle curiosity of the internal investigation. You know, I think the the empowerment that comes with knowing oneself, listening, honoring that, honoring that and saying this is okay, I’m not judging myself for it, but then also turning around and saying, how do I hold myself with care?
Sarah Trott: [00:21:10] When you were talking, something that came to mind was the someone gave an example once of imagining, giving yourself a hug or holding, you know, giving as much love to yourself as you do to your baby or other people in your life who you love. And would you talk to your loved ones the way that you’re talking to yourself in your mind? And if not, then that’s a good signal for you. You know, like give yourself talk to yourself with the same kindness that you would to your child or your partner or your best friend or whoever it is who who you love the most in your life. I just really appreciate those questions and the thoughtfulness around those. So thank you so much.
Marisa Belger: [00:21:47] Yeah, it’s my pleasure. It’s just it’s such a it’s such a transformative practice when you begin to integrate that into into your life. And it can be applied, like I said, to, to any moment in any situation. I actually wanted to give you one more example, if that’s okay. Give the listeners a very, very practical and relatable example that I know we all feel, which is a great way to, to practice and integrate greater self trust into your life is to notice when you are being when you feel yourself being pulled into a social obligation, perhaps that every ounce of your being really doesn’t feel up for.
Marisa Belger: [00:22:31] So it’s the art of saying no. So this is a loving no. There is so much empowerment that is built from practicing a loving no, and this can be used in any situation. I gave the social obligation example, but it could be, you know, no, I can’t make dinner tonight for the family, you know, to your to your partner or even to your kids. We’re going to have to figure something else out. You know, we’re going to have to, you know, get some pizza. We’re going to have to work as a team. I’m going to ask someone else to help, even to the friend that can be, you know, needy, needy, wanting you to show up in a certain way. Just being able to practice a loving no is such a powerful exercise. I highly, highly recommend it.
Sarah Trott: [00:23:20] It can be challenging to say no or to confront things when there’s a pattern or a practice, especially when breaking habits is really hard. It can seem scary. Confrontation certainly can be scary for a lot of people. But saying no or listening to your intuition and making some kind of change like your example of the person getting body work that wasn’t 100% comfortable. It doesn’t have to be a big emotional blow up. It doesn’t have to be a huge confrontation or anger or fighting. It can just be I’m interested in trying something different. Or let’s talk about. What are some alternatives here? I’m interested in exploring that.
Sarah Trott: [00:23:56] And those can be gentle, respectful, calm conversations, even if or in all of your examples, frankly, you know, let’s let’s find a different way to make dinner tonight. Let’s make it fun. Let’s do something different. It doesn’t have to be an emotional confrontation, which I think is something that a lot of people will shy away from and they’ll just acquiesce and kind of barrel through it in order to avoid that confrontation. So I really like your examples in The Art of Saying No.
Marisa Belger: [00:24:25] Yeah. Sarah, thank you so much for saying that too. That’s really it’s a really important point that you’re making that that. No, absolutely. I call it a loving no because it’s coming from love. Because what you’re actually telling whoever you’re speaking to, whomever you’re speaking to, you’re saying that in order for me to feel balanced, to feel healthy, to feel rested, to feel whole, I need to say no to this. Right? So you’re actually demonstrating what really profound self care looks like through a loving boundary, right? And so there doesn’t have to be conflict. Absolutely not.
Marisa Belger: [00:25:03] And there doesn’t have to be explaining. This is a really important piece. No overexplaining. It’s just it’s just a loving no, you know, And then. Right. Connected to that, too, is I just love to share really briefly a quick little like affirmation that I really often share with my mama clients, especially when they’re looking at practicing or strengthening this saying no muscle. Right. Which is directly connected to the asking for help muscle too. Right? Is my heart is good and I’m doing my best. So we remind ourselves, okay, of who we are.
Our heart is good and I’m doing my best. So my best right now is saying no to this because I know that’s in the greater good of my well-being. Right? And then that is it’s just clear. And I think what we’ll find, you’ll find is that when you start to practice that loving no, without explanation, people respect it. They they hear your clarity and your honoring of yourself and often will even subconsciously work around it to meet you.
Sarah Trott: [00:26:13] So listeners, if you’re in the position to say it out loud, great. Do it. But if you’re not and you can just say it in your head, that’s fine too. So Marisa, let’s say that affirmation again.
Marisa Belger: [00:26:22] Yes, my heart is good and I’m doing my best.
Sarah Trott: [00:26:27] My heart is good and I’m doing my best.
Marisa Belger: [00:26:31] Yeah. And you can just put your hand gently on your heart. It’s just reminding yourself of who you are and who you are is good.
Sarah Trott: [00:26:39] I’m really in the mood for a meditation now since we’ve done that affirmation.
Marisa Belger: [00:26:43] All right, so this is a really simple I call it we can call it a meditation practice. It’s just a really easy way to slow down and begin to meet yourself wherever you are. So I really like to remind people that you do not have to have any experience with meditation. You don’t have to be a Yogi. You don’t. You have to sit on the floor and you don’t need a lot of time. This is something that can be done even in just a minute or two, anytime you can carve it out for yourself.
Marisa Belger: [00:27:23] So I, I suggest, especially if you do already have kids or young ones at home to morning time, Early morning time is a really wonderful time of day when before people wake up. But if that’s not accessible for you, it really truly can be done any time. So I’m going to invite you right now to close your eyes. Yeah. And so you’re going to take a couple of soft inhalations and exhalations.
Marisa Belger: [00:27:56] And then begin to notice yourself in your seat. By the. Sitting in a chair or on a couch. If you want to lie down, that’s great, too. Again, there’s no wrong way to do it. So we’re going to breathe together. We’re going to do three rounds of breath. We’re going to inhale slowly and gently through the nose. And we’re going to exhale through the mouth. Through pursed lips. So it’s a little bit of a specific exhalation, just like you’re blowing out a candle. So it’s inhale through the nose. And then exhale through the through the mouth. Through pursed lips. Until all of the air is out of your lungs.
Marisa Belger: [00:28:43] So the image here is almost like squeezing the water out of a sponge. That’s the sensation of the air coming out of your lungs. And as you inhale, you’re going to inhale the word calm. And that means you just hold the word calm in your mind and in your heart. And as you exhale, you’re going to exhale the word ease. So inhale and exhale. Ease. Inhale. Calm and exhale. Ease. You can do that on your own for a few breaths.
A few rounds of breath. And with each exhalation, notice yourself sinking into your seat. Really notice that you are held, that you are safe and that you are landing. Your landing and arriving exactly where you are. So you can do one more inhalation. Exhaling ease when you can gently float your eyes open.
Sarah Trott: [00:29:52] So relaxing. Very calming. Thank you.
Marisa Belger: [00:29:55] Of course. And that can be done. Any. Ease and calm. Always accessible.
Sarah Trott: [00:30:02] And, you know, you can do it when you’re on public transportation or you can do it anytime.
Marisa Belger: [00:30:07] Just not while driving in the car.
Sarah Trott: [00:30:09] As a passenger.
Marisa Belger: [00:30:10] Yes. As a passenger in the driveway is a really wonderful. Before entering the house as a transition moment, highly recommend it as a as a transitional calming exercise.
Sarah Trott: [00:30:22] Yeah. And a great way to build that into everyday practice.
Speaker3: [00:30:25] Exactly.
Sarah Trott: [00:30:26] Marisa, if someone wants to work with you, how can they do that?
Marisa Belger: [00:30:29] Yeah, The best way is to reach out to me directly. And you can email me at Marisa. That’s [email protected] and that’s Belger.
Sarah Trott: [00:30:42] And you have been so generous. You’ve offered to give listeners of the Fourth trimester podcast a 25% discount to your services if they mention this podcast. So if you want to book, you can book a series of three months or six months with Marisa. Try that on for size. I also want to mention something really special that you just kicked off with Heng, your coauthor of The First 40 Days and the other books, which is a 12 week course.
Marisa Belger: [00:31:10] Yeah. Thank you, Sarah. Yes, we’re so excited. So my coauthor of The First 40 Days, she and I have just launched our first cohort of our experience that we’re calling Living the First 40 Days and Beyond. So inspired by the tenants of the first 40 days, we took the main ideas that we have seen over the past ten years have really touched people profoundly and integrated that into programing that holds women at every stage of the motherhood journey. Currently we have women who are on a conception journey. We have women who are pregnant. We have women who are newly postpartum and we have women who have older children. And it’s a way to come together and be in a really dynamic, really powerful group experience and also be practicing what we talked about today.
Marisa Belger: [00:32:03] Building self-trust intuition, understanding how to tend to yourself inside the swirl of the wild and sometimes hectic swirl of domesticity and raising, raising kids and pursuing your own dreams and goals. So it’s been such an exciting thing so far and we look forward to inviting more women into our circle.
Sarah Trott: [00:32:25] I am just so excited for you and for Heng and all the people who are participating in the program. I can’t wait to check in with you soon and hear how it’s going. So for listeners, if you want to go and and check out that course, email Marisa at her email address [email protected] You can mention the show and even get a discount 25% off that 12 week program as well.
Sarah Trott: [00:32:48] So if you’re curious, you can find out more about that online and you can tune in to Fourthtrimesterpodcast.com and we’ll put the information in our show notes there as well. So we’re going to wrap up. And I want to thank you again, Marisa, for your generous offer, for your time, for the meditation, the questions. It’s been such a good conversation. Thank you.
Marisa Belger: [00:33:09] Thank you, Sarah.
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